PHANTODS

i honestly don't know what happened with the phantods. more than ANYONE since rc mob they seemed perfectly primed for so-called alternative stardom. perhaps they're simply proof that no matter how good and/or willing to play along you are, no-one but no-one can "make it" via the traditional channels in col's, o. there just isn't enough true support from any of the necessary entities (radio, press); it's akin to swimming upstream pretty much. i mean, a band that packs 500 people in whenever they play (esp. in a town where yr lucky to get 50) shouldn't hafta get a letter-writing campaign together EVERY time they want a single played on the local "alt" station. it's complete bullshit. is it any surprise, then, that the bands col's is known for haven't really played nice (read: cared about cultivating much of anything beyond an audience of their peers) in town (times new viking, vile gash) or have just moved away (roland kirk, rjd2)?

anyhow, i fucking love the phantods. you should go send them $$ on bandcamp or whatever. early mr. bungle-worship with a side of pre-120 minutes stardom liz fraser-isms gave way to more trad late-period emo arrangements and modern power hooks, but they tread the lines expertly. i don't get tired of them 45 seconds in like with someone like paramore, and they're certainly less cliched than a band like damone (who i really do also dig) and better at throwing around horrorpunk touchstones than the always-clumsy-in-that-respect alkaline trio.

you're the link
from your heart to your hand.

Them Wranch Discography

lotta folks might not understand that this is DANCE MUSIC but i straight dare 'em not to shimmyshimmykokoPOP when shizz like "whip" comes on. lotsa stuff too ridiculous & diseased about this combo for 'em to really catch on in the unimaginative doldrums that are "garage rock circles" but at least they skipped the very col's thing where they didn't make any good sounding records. plenty here - two lps, two 45s, a whole sonics-of-the-sonics-obsessed session recorded in 'the garage behind the deal' and a short session from a cle studio - to reflect the real go that the r.a.n.c.h. had at it for a few years in the late '90s (post-hairy patt/pre-tough & lovely). these whackos' ideas of what might pass for entertainment are so off the mark that they actually fucken WORK: what sounds at first like pure novelty reveals itself very quickly to be funnier than the cramps/way, WAY groovier than "beat" dreck like the woggles/more imaginative than honestly anyone you can think of. (only band that eventually came anywhere close was the howlies and even they don't touch the copious far reaches of them wranch's ecelcticism.) "beware them that lurk in the shadows," INDEED!

lps
45s + sessions

Action Family Discography

action, action, ACTION!! whether yr down or not with chris elliott the serpentine grime-rock stooges-worship SCUZZ of this combo should still stain yr trouser bottoms if yr heart's still beatin' hard enuff to pump all them drugs thru yr system. relocatin' themselves all over the country didn't fuckin' help anyone care at all but really in the long run we're all just shit and pollen anyhow so fuck it, here're some BLISTERING tunes ("i feel fine" will SAW YOU IN FUCKING HALF) that ain't in any danger of disappearin' unless the whole damn world blows up real good so fuck…throw 'em on some shitty juke/roll around on a barroom floor/puke in yr shoes/stop goin' to werk/live on high life for awhile. it ain't the worst life. (p.s. there's one more tune over on bandcamp, dig.)

you ain't no brian jones!

Near Paris 12"

so two of the three geniuses from post industrial noise decided to get a little more radio-ready (?) with their next project, and here ya have it, for what it's worth (which is about $300 [!!!], if ya ask discogs). i dunno even what to say about this, it just sounds like some idea of the early '80s that people who wanna hate the early '80s prolly have in their head: goofy synth-percussion noises that aren't any fun, vocals straight out of a bret easton ellis novel, etc. songwriting this wrongheaded is so often scattered, smothered, & covered with some gloppy genre trappings or other so, y'know, no surprise. (shoulda studied a little more snapshot, if they'da asked me.) the attempt at human league/breakdance rock is hilarious. it wasn't all like this, folks - i promise you.

you got the moves that could start a fire

Post Industrial Noise - Anthology cassette

welp, here it is, the $900 cassette. 1982-3 recordings from soon-to-be near paris members. who cares? i dunno. i guess enough people (read: 2) (i mean 7) to punch the value of this thing up to almost a grand. i mean, even i prolly woulda paid two bucks for it just to get it on the blog (the other $887 or whatever i woulda kept) but lucky for you i gots it for free and now so can you. not as cool as antena, not as propulsive as "planet earth" by duran duran, not ANYWHERE near as inventive as the second flying lizards lp, not as reverse psychologically POP as "the model" by kraftwerk, this is a bit too undercooked to really shine texturally and the male voice sounds like a resident impersonating groucho marx…but SERIOUS. reissue on cleopatra? why not? dull, monotonous, behind its own times - this is not the sound of excited, inventive, forward-thinking, fucked-up individuals manipulating/overcoming/destroying/reveling in the (available) tech of the day to make something resonant (like, say, social climbers), nah, this is folks with too much $$$ boring everyone including themselves to death with midwestern art gallery social circle jerk. as good as a seven dollar bottle of sake in an indianapolis sushi bar. i'd rather listen to lestat.

it gives me plee-zha